Monthly Archives: September 2025

Harder Than We Think

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Dear Folks,

I once saw a bumper sticker that said, “No Farms No Food.” My first thought was that this person wants to abolish all the farms so we will all starve to death. What a mean person! Then

I thought this person wants us to appreciate farms because without them we wouldn’t have food. That was a much better thought.

Did you hear about the man who stared intently at the can of orange juice because it said, “Concentrate.” One man said, “My hair needs cutting really badly,” and I said, “I can cut it really badly.” Just because we understand the words doesn’t mean we really understand what the person is saying. In the seminary, one Bible scholar told us that to understand what is being said we must “listen with our hearts.” He said that if you go into a shop to buy blades for your razor and the woman behind the counter says, “Can I help you, honey?” The word “honey” really doesn’t mean anything. However, if a man is speaking to the love of his life, he might be pouring his whole soul into the word “honey.” If our hearts are filled with anger and hostility, we will naturally hear things in the worst possible way. Let’s be honest; when we really dislike someone, we want to hear bad things about him, just as when we really like someone, we like to hear good things about him. How can that not shade the way we listen?

When people put out some snippets of what someone supposedly said, and then claim they are terrible people, I don’t think that will be as persuasive as they think. In fact, a lot of what

people say is expressed in such a way that it guarantees no one is going to be persuaded unless they already agree.

People have talked about toning down the rhetoric. I don’t think that’s enough. I think we need to learn how to have more effective rhetoric. My ability to have dialog has improved a

great deal over the course of years, and though it doesn’t always produce good results (Jesus had the same problem, and I’m not going to do better than Jesus), I have had many more good

outcomes than I used to. Whatever else you believe about Charlie Kirk, he was very good at that kind of dialog, which is what made him so successful. What if we all learned more about

how to do that?

More effective rhetoric is an art. We must be aware of how we sound to others. The words we say sound more benign to us than similar words said back to us, so two people, speaking in

the same way, can each believe that the other person is being cruel while we are innocent. I suggest that listening well is harder than we think, and we have to get better at it. James 1:19

teaches us to be “quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath.” What If we, as a society, decided that if we thought some people were headed in the wrong direction, we trusted more in the

power of dialog than in name calling, shouting someone down, and violence?

What if we put more energy and effort into trying to understand and not being too quick to believe we understand enough? What if we focused less on who was a good person and who

was a bad person and focused more on how we can all be better people? Every day is a chance to learn something new, and every day is a chance to become a better person. Jesus said we must strive for perfection and cannot be content with less (Matthew 5:48).

Blessings,

Fr. Jim

Peace I Give You

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Dear Folks,

If we want a more peaceful world, first and foremost, get to know Jesus better. Building a better world always starts with falling more deeply in love with Jesus. Knowing His teaching is, of course, wonderful, and we can all benefit from studying those more. However, getting to know Him personally, spending time with Him, and, in the words of Pope Benedict, “Let Him be your best friend” will make all the difference. Some will object and point to the evils done by church people. I would suggest that this happens when the church people imitate the world rather than trust the teaching of Jesus. When we trust worldly power over the power of the cross, bad things happen. In the words of William Bennet (in his book “America: the Last Best Hope”) “the problem was too little Catholicism, not too much.” Also, it is church people who often developed the ideas that would oppose evils that had not been questioned before. It has been said that Christians did not invent slavery but invented the notion that slavery was wrong. I’m not a historian, but I think a case could be made that is true of many of our best moral principles. I think the best bet is to trust Jesus. Jesus has turned many villains into saints.

This will lead to a different kind of combat. We have a natural desire to make a mark on the wo rld and when we feel helpless, it is like pressure building up in us that needs to get out. It is very tempting then to use violence because it seems like a quick way to get results. I had a rage-filled, adversarial relationship with the universe for many years, and I understand this deeply. If it is not channeled properly, it explodes, and we see the results.

Christians have different weapons for combating evil (Ephesians 6:10-17). I focus on telling the Gospel story, working together as community, worshipping God, and helping people in need. With these weapons, we can transform the world, not as quickly, but much more profoundly, and with longer lasting effects (eternal!!!). The Gospel of Jesus Christ is the power greater than any imagined superpower (take that, Iron Man). If that is where we should channel our frustration and our energy, we will have a more peaceful world. Of course, we Christians know that we cannot become good people just by studying goodness and trying hard (though that is essential). The power of sin is too strong in our hearts. It is in our relationship with Jesus that by His power we are transformed, gradually made into what we were always meant to be. Many Christians throughout the centuries have demonstrated that they can receive mistreatment, persecution, and suffering of many kinds and respond with love. Only if we can respond to evil with love can the world ever become a better place.

And the better job we do of that, the more other people can see that the Gospel of Jesus Christ is worth exploring.

One thing that I think should be obvious: what we have been doing hasn’t been getting us there. What if each one of us considered seriously how we could up our game in this area. If we want a better world and more people loving Jesus, are we willing to try something new to make it happen?

Blessings,

Fr. Jim

Peacemaking

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Dear folks,

Here are some continuing thoughts about how to make the world a more peaceful place.

Intellectual humility: Don’t be too quick to be too certain that we see the whole picture. What if there is more to the story? I learned this the hard way: experiences of feeling very certain and finding out I was very wrong. Things can seem obvious and still be wrong. This will make me more reluctant to go too far to get my agenda.

Humility of Agency: Not be so certain that we are the solution, such that we decide we can violate boundaries rather than fail. If we try honorably and fail, someone might launch a successful attempt from the ashes our failure. Remember that actions done with good intentions may have bad consequences. Sometimes we even cause the opposite of what we intend. This goes with Moral Humility: Not being so certain that we will always do the right thing, lest we trust ourselves with too much power (Think of why Gandalf refused to take the one ring: “I would intend to

use it for good…”). When boundaries, accountability, checks and balances on us get in the way of what we want to do it is frustrating, but not necessarily bad.

People like Lenin, Stalin, Mao, and Robespierre all apparently thought they were fixing things and would make a paradise on earth, and so they thought they could take some serious moral shortcuts to do so. They made hell on earth and brought

untold suffering. We must fight monsters without becoming monsters. (I found if you search for images of “Peacemaker” you get a comic book villain who seeks to bring peace by using extreme violence.) As Jesus said, we must be “clever as serpents and innocent as doves (Matt 10:16).” We must work toward a better world but always remember that we are not the savior (We have a Savior).

Seeing the big picture. I can be okay with losing today so that I could win tomorrow. If I think in terms of years, decades, or even centuries, I can be content to work bit by bit for a better world, and a temporary loss is not a catastrophe. This would give me less temptation to drastic, violent action.

Support Law enforcement. Of course, hold bad actors accountable, but when one is accused, that officer should get the same due process and presumption of innocence that we would want for ourselves if we were accused of a terrible crime.

Those who do their jobs deserve our support and gratitude for the tremendous sacrifices they make for our sake. Let us send clear, consistent messages that we value and admire obeying the law and respecting law enforcement officers, and believe in holding criminals accountable.

Fill ourselves with stories of people who solved problems and accomplished great things without resorting to violence. Sometimes physical force is necessary, especially in war, law enforcement, or self-defense, but let us emphasize our admiration for those who do great things through other means and let us aspire to imitate them.

Tim Scott just released the book “One Nation Always Under God” and it is full of such stories. If there were more people like those depicted in the book, and if we as a society aspired to be like them, perhaps that would help people focus their energies more peacefully (reading the lives of the saints doesn’t hurt either).

Next, the most important part.

Blessings,

Fr. Jim

Building Peace

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Dear Folks,

I wanted to share some further thoughts on making the world more peaceful.

Anger management: Our anger matters, but it is not the most important thing. (James 1:19-20; Ephesians 4:26-27). Anger does not show the rightness of our position. In fact, it narrows our perception and hampers our judgment. Learning to heal our anger, not letting it lead us can make a difference. I have a punching bag that has suffered terribly for this cause. I recommend “No Future Without Forgiveness” by Desmond Tutu and “The Book of Forgiving” by Desmond and Mpho Tutu. Also helpful is “Remembering God’s Mercy by Dawn Adams. This is a part of the notion that our feelings in general matter and have things to teach us, but they should not be in control, nor be trusted as a moral compass. We recognize that they are easily manipulated and subject to change for all sorts of reasons. We can practice feeling anger and practicing calm. This is connected to:

Reconciling ourselves to the truth that if we want to do good, we are going to have to work harder than we though, for longer than expected, to accomplish less than we hoped. The world is a horrible mess. We can believe we can make some difference without having to believe that we can fix it in our lifetimes. When we are done, it will still be a horrible mess, but better than it would have been without our efforts. I know that feeling of urgency that I have to fix this huge problem now, and the harm I did because I got too aggressive. Recognizing that the evil does much deeper and we can be more effective by being patient and persevering than by panicking. This has not only saved me a lot of stomach acid, but I believe it has made me more effective.

Training in peaceful and constructive dialog: I recommend Ann Garrido’s book “Redeeming Conflict” to begin, then Monica Guzman’s “I Never Thought of it That Way.” There are some people with whom we cannot make peace, but the more people get better at peacemaking, the fewer such people there will be. I’ve seen so many conversations that take the form of: Person A: “People shouldn’t be starving. We need the government to take all the food and give it out to everyone so no one will starve.” Person B: “I don’t think that will work and will cause more harm than good.” Person A: “You are a wicked, wicked person who doesn’t care about starving people.” This form of dialog takes place with many issues and many proposed solutions. We need to make conversation more productive. This is connected to:

Problem solving and conflict resolution skills. This will give us a channel to direct our energy and concern. If we spend less time attacking our opponents (which is so much easier) and more time building a case for our solution (which is more work and makes us vulnerable to being attacked ourselves) we need not be trapped in the helpless rage that is a temptation to violence. This is connected to:

Leadership skills: Able to exercise constructive leadership in society. One does not always need an official position to be a leader. Sometimes, asking a good question, telling a good story, setting a good example can be acts of leadership. This is an art that need cultivating. I recommend “The Practice of Adaptive Leadership: Tools and Tactics for Changing Your Organization and the World” by Ron Heifetz. I can make my mark on the world without resorting to violence, even in this big, frustrating world.

More later.

Blessings,

Fr. Jim