Monthly Archives: October 2021

Marriage and the Cross

Dear Folks,Our Gospel talks about marriage, divorce, and natural law. Why would Mark put this in the section of his gospel that deals with the cross? At Jesus’ time, there was a strong belief that aman could divorce his wife for a number of causes, and I’m told some rabbis taught that if a wife burns her husband’s dinner that was cause for divorce. Clearly, practice like this wouldencourage many men to come to marriage thinking about how it was going to benefit them.Jesus’ is calling people to see marriage more in terms of gift of self. There may be great benefits and joys in marriage as in many forms of giving oneself, but it doesn’t work if our central focus is on what I’m going to get out of this. This is true of many ways we give ofourselves, like priesthood and friendship. Marriage is unique, however, and plays a unique role in the story of salvation.Consider how our relationship with God is compared to marriage. “I will rejoice heartily in the Lord, my being exults in my God; For he has clothed me with garments of salvation, and wrapped me in a robe of justice, like a bridegroom adorned with a diadem, as a bride adorns herself with her jewels (Isaiah 61:10-11).” The book of Hosea is all about comparing God’s relationship with Israel to a husband’s relationship to an unfaithful wife. Psalm 45 is essentially a wedding song. Song of Songs is essentially a wedding song, and many people have found in it a deep sense of God’s tender love. Ephesians 5:21-33 compares marriage to the love between Christ and His Church and calls it “a great mystery.”If anyone is thinking that this is just a nice metaphor, why would it be called a great mystery?What if God deliberately made people male and female, that they be suited to give themselves to one another in a unique way, that would teach us about how God is calling us to union withHim? Our union with God is meant to be free, total, faithful, and fruitful, and so is marriage.Mark chapter 10, Jesus is asked about divorce, and at that time, there was discussion about what was required for divorce. He goes back to the beginning, the very beginning, and locatesthis discussion in the core of how we were created.Matthew will give some more detail in Matthew 19:1-15. Remember, the Gospel writers don’t tell all they know (See John 21:25), so they must be selective. There is a clarification about ifthe marriage is unlawful (v. 9, and that leads to a discussion beyond what I can do here). The apostles are shocked and think Jesus’ high standards means it is better not to get married.Jesus tells them that not everyone is made for marriage.In the Gospel of John, we see that John the Baptist’s job was to introduce Jesus. The Baptist will use two images for Jesus: The Passover Lamb (John 1:29) and the Bridegroom (John 3:22-30). We will see these two images brought together in the wedding feast of the Lamb in Revelation 19:7-9. See also Revelation 21:2 and 9. Both are images of total gift of self.When people get married, they are holding their whole lives in their hands, and making a decision that cannot be undone. I’ve dealt with a number of people who have been divorced or are going through divorce, and I’ve seen clearly that divorce does not make it go away (no one has contradicted me on that).This is a huge topic, but if there is one takeaway from what I’m saying, it is there is more to marriage than most people think, and we who think Jesus’ teaching is important have a challenge of expanding the conversation in society for the good of all.Blessings,Fr. Jim