Jesus who Reconciles

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Dear Folks,

As we continue to celebrate the Easter season, we encounter the risen Jesus in John 21. It is worth looking at it a little closer.

We see an echo of Luke 5:1-11, when Jesus called Peter, James, and John. After a night of catching nothing, it was morning (See Luke 1:78), Jesus calls them to put out their nets again. As with several of the resurrection accounts, they don’t immediately recognize Jesus. They bring in a very large number of fish (153!), but unlike in the Lucan account, the net is not tearing (John 1:11). Scholars have said that in those days there were 153 different species of fish, and this is a foreshadowing of the Church being able to hold all kinds of people together (when there is a schism in the Church, that is a result of human failing, not a limitation of God’s Church).

Jesus calls them to bring some of the fish they had caught, but he already had bread and fish cooked on a charcoal fire (John 21:9-13). This makes no sense at first, but it echoes all the accounts of multiplying loaves and fishes, in which He calls them to bring forth what they have, but it is He who feeds. This is a paradox in Christianity: it is all the work of His grace, but it requires every last bit of effort that we have. Grace is not an excuse to slack off, and our efforts do not allow us to boast before Him as if we had accomplished something that He has not given us.

Notice it is a charcoal fire (details matter in John, and we must keep our eyes sharp). Remember John 18:18, in which Peter was warming himself around a charcoal fire when he was denying Jesus. Psychologists tell us that our sense of smell is the most powerful sense for evoking emotional memories. Do you think his three-fold denial was on Peter’s mind? Weighing heavily on him? Hmm. Jesus does not address the denial directly, but calls for a three-fold affirmation, each time bringing a call to take care of Jesus sheep (we remember that Jesus is the good shepherd as He taught in chapter 10). Jesus reconciles with Peter and sends him forth as shepherd. The gift he was given was not just for his sake, but for the sake of Peter’s service to the mission of the Church. Going through Acts of the Apostles, we see that God will protect Peter and Paul again and again, but still allow them to suffer and eventually be martyred. It is about what serves the mission.

As an Easter people, we come to Jesus confidently, knowing that He has won the victory. We can bring our sinfulness to be reconciled, knowing that the gifts we receive are not just for our sake, but so that we can serve the mission of the Church. We are called to put forward our mightiest effort, but know it is He who wins the victory. To be an Easter people is to be a people of mission.

Blessings, Fr. Jim

Spirit of Peace

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Dear Folks,

As we continue the Easter season, we reflect on how to be an Easter people. Our Gospel last Sunday has two parts: the giving of peace and the Holy Spirit for the sake of reconciliation and showing Thomas something to help him believe. My thought on this is how we as Christians should be reconcilers, and that will help people believe, Jesus said to Thomas, “Blessed are those who have not seen, but have believed (John 20:29).” This does not mean they believe without reason. People may not see the wounds of Christ, but if they see that our behavior is different from the general population because of our faith, then they will have grounds to believe that what we say about Jesus is real.

One of the ways we can strive to be different is being better reconcilers and peacemakers. There is a lot that can be said about how to do that (and I have tried on different occasions). Easter is a good time to talk about how peace can grow from being less concerned with our own desires and more concerned with pleasing God.

St. Paul teaches, “If then you were raised with Christ, seek what is above, where Christ is seated at the right hand of God. Think of what is above not what is on earth. For you have died, and your life is hidden with Christ in God (Colossians 3:1-3).”

If our desires are paramount, our desires will always get in the way of each other. “Where do the wars and where do the conflicts among you come from? Is it not from your passions that make war within your members? You covet but do not possess. You kill and envy, but you cannot obtain; you fight and wage war. You cannot possess because you do not ask. You ask but do not receive, because you ask wrongly, to spend it on your passions (James 4:1-3).”

Even if we are fighting for God’s truth, against the forces of evil, we do it as people of faith. We can spend ourselves generously to build goodness without the desperation that comes from thinking it all depends on us. We remember people thinking they could save the world without God (I’m thinking of Hitler, Stalin, and Mao) who were sure they were building a better world and that they were so important that they should have no limitations. They killed millions because they thought the tradeoff was worth it. We do what we can do, careful to show that we love even those who oppose us, knowing that God Himself will bring about the victory. The greatness of our cause calls us to higher standards of behavior, not lower. Church people have done nasty stuff when they have forgotten that.

We remember that the ability to do this depends on the Holy Spirit. We are not just celebrating the great season of Easter (though that would be plenty in itself), but also preparing for the great feast of Pentecost. This is a time to reflect and consider how our relationship with the Holy Spirit is enabling us to live as an Easter people.

The gifts of the Holy Spirit (from Isaiah 11) are wisdom, understanding, knowledge, council, fortitude, piety, and fear of the Lord. The traditional explanations of the first four tend to be a bit subtle, but I think they boil down to knowing that God is more important than anything else, understanding how that affects the way we look at life, and what is life is truly of value, seeing how it all connects, and knowing how to respond. Fortitude is the strength actually to do what we now know we should do (based on the first four). Piety is a sense of awe toward God and attentiveness to Him. Fear of the Lord is, of course, not about fear in the usual sense, but a deep desire to be pleasing to God and a deep horror of displeasing Him.

The fruits of the Holy Spirit (from Galatians 5) are love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, generosity, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control.

As we prepare for Pentecost, we can pray regularly for the Holy Spirit to increase these attributes in us, that we may better live as an Easter people, may better be peacemakers, and may better be witnesses of the Gospel to the world.

Alleluia! Fr. Jim

Easter People

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Dear Folks,

This is Easter! This is actually when we should be singing, “It’s the Most Wonderful Time of the Year.” This is the celebration of Our Lord’s great victory over evil, and that makes all the difference. The Easter season will continue until Pentecost. How should we respond? I suggest:

1. Rejoice! (obviously). Even if you are going through a very hard time, we remember that the hard times come to an end, and the victory of Easter is forever.

According to our capacity at the time, we can look defiantly at what is dragging us down and say, “your days are numbered, and we will get the last laugh.” We read in Scripture, “Go, eat rich foods and drink sweet drinks, and allot portions to those who had nothing prepared; for today is holy to our Lord. Do not be saddened this day, for rejoicing in the Lord is your strength (Nehemiah 8:10).” We can celebrate according to our capacity and show the world that just as we have done penance during Lent, now we party!

2. Get immersed in Acts of the Apostles. During the Easter season, the first reading is from Acts almost every day. It is the story of the Church in its beginnings and shows how to be an Easter people. If we follow those readings and reflect on them, it will give us a sense of what was their response to the Easter event and the Pentecost event. (You know you are allowed to read the daily Mass readings even if you don’t get to Mass that day?). As you go through Acts of the Apostles, I would encourage you to look for four things:

a. Telling the Gospel story

b. Working together as community

c. Worshipping God

d. Helping people in need.

I would suggest that those four things were how they made their mark on the world. Doing these four things, a small band of misfits changed the course of world history forever. I suggest if we grow in doing these four things, we can be as successful as they were. We have everything they had. We have the Gospel story, and we have the Holy Spirit working within us. During the Easter season, I’ll be unpacking more about how we might try to grow in these four things (actually, I plan to be doing that for the rest of my life, but one step at a time).

We remember that after the disciples encountered the Risen Jesus, the world was still a mess, and still very hostile to everything Jesus is about. Acts makes this clear. It also made clear that the Church had problems, and that it had flawed people in them from the beginning (that is made even more clear in the epistles). Despite that, a small band of misfits changed the course of world history forever. If we truly believe in the resurrection the problems in the Church now will not hold us back from doing wonderful things.

When people look back on this moment in history, what will they find? Let’s see how many reasons we can give them to know that we truly believed in the Gospel, that we believed in the power of the New Life that Jesus offers us.

Blessings,

Fr. Jim

True Gift of Self

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Dear Folks,

This is Holy Week, the height of our liturgical year. We try to put everything else aside to focus on this journey. We follow Jesus from the triumphal entry into Jerusalem, His time in Jerusalem, His passion and death, and finally the resurrection.

All four Gospels tell the story of Jesus’ triumphant entry into Jerusalem. This year we look at the Gospel of Luke, who, just before the entry tells the story of a king who returns to his kingdom to hold his servants accountable for their stewardship and destroy his enemies (Luke 19:11-27). This shows us how to view His time in Jerusalem. He will hold them accountable for their stewardship of God’s gifts.

The essence of the Gospel is the gift of self. Our Lord gave Himself completely, and that comes to its fullness in His sacrifice on the cross. We see here a contrast between those who truly give the gift of self with those who give a false gift or who refuse completely.

After His entry into Jerusalem, He weeps for it, saying that they lost their chance for peace and would be destroyed (Luke 19:41-44). This anticipates the talk on the destruction of the temple, coming persecution, and the coming of the kingdom (Luke 21:5-36). This suggests that if they had accepted His teaching, they could have avoided this catastrophe. We know that they tried a futile uprising and were destroyed. Centuries later, Christianity would conquer the Roman empire by evangelizing it. What would have happened if they tried that approach first thing? Unfortunately, so many people threw away the opportunity that God had given them. Their bad stewardship was being judged.

Then Jesus cleansed the temple. God had given them the great gift of temple so they could give themselves to Him in their worship, and they were using it for their own selfish purposes. Their bad stewardship was being judged.

The chief priests, the scribes and the elders attempt to pin Jesus down on His authority, but they won’t take a stand themselves (Luke 20:1-8). This isn’t going to work. We have all dealt with people who want to hold others accountable, but object to being held accountable themselves. We cannot claim to understand Christianity while staying safe. We have to put ourselves on the line, including the possibility that Christ will completely rework our lives,

including being publicly known for our positions. Anonymous criticism gets no respect. Again, that is not a true gift of self.

He tells the story of the tenant farmers who won’t make a return to the vineyard owner (Lk. 20:9-19), even killing his son. He is making clear that the chief priests, the scribes, and the elders of the people have not been good stewards of the great gifts they have been

given. Instead of giving their hearts, their minds, their wills and their strength to God (see Deuteronomy 6:4-5), they kept their hearts for themselves and used God for their own purposes.

We contrast this with two stories just before and near the end of this section. Zacchaeus (Luke 19:1-10) received an unexpected opportunity in the visit of Jesus and used it to turn his life completely around. An unnamed widow (Luke 21:1-4) was given very little to work with, but responded with all her heart and all her self. These are praised for their stewardship.

I recently rewatched the 2019 movie “Midway.” The battle of Midway was one of the most critical battles of World War II, and it is very inspiring to see so many people who made such great and brave sacrifices for the sake of the war effort. They wanted to live, to be safe, and to be with their families, but they knew how much their work mattered. During this holy week, I suggest we reflect on how we have responded to God, how might He be calling us to respond, and how well do we believe that our response to God matters?

Blessings,

Fr. Jim

Flesh and Spirit

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Dear Folks,

Looking at the cycle A readings, today we come to the story of the raising of Lazarus, which is about the middle of the Gospel of John, and the last and greatest of His signs (John does not talk about “miracles” but rather “signs”).

There is a big difference from mere physical survival and the fullness of life. “A thief comes only to steal and slaughter and destroy; I came so that they might have life and have it more abundantly (John 10:10).”

Our second reading from Romans 8 says, “Those who are in the flesh cannot please God. But you are not in the flesh; on the contrary, you are in the spirit, if only the spirit of God dwells in you. Whoever does not have the spirit of Christ does not belong to him (Romans 8:8-10).” It is worth reading a bit of what came before: “…so the righteous decree of the law might be fulfilled in us, who live not according to the flesh but according to the spirit. For those who live according to the flesh are concerned with the things of the flesh, but those who live according to the spirit with the things of the spirit. The concern of the flesh is death, but the concern of the spirit is life and peace (Romans 8:4-6).”

It is crucial to understand that when talking about “flesh” and “spirit” the Bible is not saying the body is evil or unimportant. It is talking about an attitude, an approach to life. To live according to the flesh is to be ruled by our lesser desires, and to live according to the spirit is to live according to the truth of God, which can only be done with God’s grace. St. Paul famously taught: “Now the works of the flesh are obvious: immorality, impurity, licentiousness, idolatry, sorcery, hatreds, rivalry, jealousy, outbursts of fury, acts of selfishness, dissensions, factions, occasions of envy, drinking bouts, orgies, and the like. I warn you, as I warned you before, that those who do such things will not inherit the kingdom of God. In contrast the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, generosity, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control. Against such there is no law (Galatians 5:19-23).”

To live according to the flesh is to be ruled by our desires as animals are. For animals, of course, it is fitting. They are engaged in a fight for survival that always ends in defeat. We were made for more, and to settle for the desires of the flesh is to make of our lives a grotesque caricature of what God made us to be. A violent rage and desire for revenge are grotesque caricatures of the desire to build peace and justice. Greed is a grotesque caricature of the desire to build things of benefit to others, enjoy the fruits of our labors, and have some security for the future. Lust is a grotesque caricature of the free, total, faithful and fruitful relationships to which God calls us. Pride is a grotesque caricature of the desire to celebrate and rejoice in the person that God has made us. To live according to the flesh is merely survival. To live according to the spirit is the fullness of life.

The raising of Lazarus was a teaching moment, a foreshadowing of the resurrection to come. Lazarus was resuscitated with his body like it was before, not the resurrection body that Jesus would have on Easter. While Jesus could pop into locked rooms with no problem, Lazarus still had to be untied from his wrappings (John 11:44). Today is to sharpen our appetite for Easter. St. Paul said, “If you were raised with Christ, see what is above, where Christ is seated at the right hand of God (Colossians 3:1). Christians are already participating in eternal life, and we are called to live accordingly. In heaven of course, that life reaches its fullness. That will be good. Very, very good.

Blessings,

Fr Jim

Will We See?

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Dear Folks,

I remember the Ray Stevens song “Everything is Beautiful” including the line, “There is none so blind as he who will not see.” We know that we do not have to choose to have blind spots just like we don’t have to plant weeds in our gardens. They’re just there, and we have to recognize them and root them out, or they take over.

I would suggest that one very fertile ground for blind spots is the broader consequences of our choices, and the responsibility we bear for them. I’m thinking about how we deal with Church. Over the years, I’ve heard many people concerned about what is happening (or not happening) in the Church, but many are strongly focused on what other people should be doing about it, often the Pope, the bishops, and the priests. This is a formula for helplessness.

As Batman once said, “I don’t do ‘helpless.’”

If we are willing to look, might we find ways in which the faithful can each play a role in turning the Church around?

Fully conscious, active participation. The Second Vatican Council’s Constitution on the Sacred Liturgy (Sacrosanctum Concilium) says, “By way of promoting active participation, the people should be encouraged to take part by means of acclamations, responses, psalmody, antiphons, and songs, as well as actions, gestures, and bodily attitudes. And at the proper times all should observe a reverent silence (SC 30).” Some people are ill, or just working their way through mental blocks, and it is all they can do to be present at all. We need to have a lot of compassion for them. However, the more we are able to participate actively, not only are we more fully engaged (we are called to give our entire selves to God), but also the more we bear witness that this is worth our best effort, and that energy can strengthen their faith and their prayer.

Learn about our faith. Lots and lots of Catholics have left the Catholic faith because someone sat down with them, showed them some Bible verses, and explained why Catholicism is “wrong” and “unbiblical.” Scott Hahn, in his younger days, was in the business of leading Catholics away from their faith and said that it was easy, because they knew so little about their faith. How many Catholics stop learning about their faith when they finish eighth grade or get confirmed? What if we stopped learning about all the important aspects of life when we were in eighth grade? How successful would we be in life? Can we see what would happen if it were the rule, not the exception, that Catholics would be life-long learners about their faith, according to their ability? Obviously, while I use the little slivers of time I have at Mass available to slip some teaching in, that will not answer the need by itself.

How are we talking about the Church as a whole, and about our faith community in particular? Are we bringers of good news? If we talk about what is wrong, is it in the context of how we can make things better? If we catch ourselves complaining for the sake of complaining, how might that time and energy be used to make the situation better?

Can we see other ways each person can make a difference in the future flourishing of the Church? As Jesus said, “One sows, and another reaps (John 4:37).” Every seed sown matters. It starts with how we see the situation.

The Pope, the bishops, and the priests are prominent, but they are a small minority within the Church. What people read about and what they see on a screen are not as powerful as personal contact. How the Church is seen, how it is able to attract people, will depend mostly on the Catholic faithful.

Blessings,

Fr. Jim

Woman at the Well: a Surprise

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Dear Folks,

Today, Jesus meets a woman at a well. Brant Pitre’s excellent book “Jesus the Bridegroom” talks about gathering all the people of God to be the bride of the Lamb. The Bible has a couple of powerful images of meeting a bride at a well (Isaac, through a servant, with Rebekah in Genesis 24, Jacob with Rachel in Genesis 29, and Moses with Zipporah in Exodus 2:16:21). Pitre will point out various details in common between these stories and the story of Jesus at the well, which means that a Jewish audience who knew their Torah would instantly make the connection. A man meeting a woman at a well made them think of marriage.

Jesus talks about being the source of living water. We will see again that He will talk about living water in chapter 7 during the feast of tabernacles (the feast of booths): “On the last and greatest day of the feast, Jesus stood up and exclaimed ‘Let anyone who thirsts come to me and drink. Whoever believes in me, as scripture says; “Rivers of living water will flow from within him.”’ He said this in reference to the Spirit that those who came to believe in him were to receive. There was, of course, no Spirit yet, because Jesus had not yet been glorified (John 7:37-39).” According to Gail Yee’s “Jewish Feasts and the Gospel of John”

she talks about the last and greatest day of the feast. “On the seventh day, the priests pass through the Water Gate and encircle the sacred altar seven times with the waters drawn from the pool of Siloam (p.79).” There would be other rituals with water during the feast. It would happen at the time of harvest, which was the beginning of the rainy season (there is no rain in Israel during the summer: rain happens in the winter, so imagine cisterns getting dry). In that context Jesus makes His declaration.

Pitre argues that when Jesus tells the woman at the well about living water, He refers to baptism, seeing how it follows from so much about baptism in Chapter 3 and the beginning of Chapter 4. Baptism gives the Holy Spirit (John 1:32 and 3:5) and the Spirit reminds us of the truth (John 14:26)

Jesus breaks down barriers between people. Jesus is about bringing people together. This woman was a Samarian, and very much an outsider. We don’t know the details of this woman’s story. She has had five husbands and was living a sinful lifestyle with a man with whom she was not married. Was she in her situation because she made some really bad choices, or because she was treated horribly and this was the only way she could find to survive, or maybe a combination of the two? The fact that she is coming to the well at midday suggests other women were shunning her. In Israel, you run errands early in the morning before it gets hot, and at mid-day you work inside. Jesus loves people regardless of their sins, but also takes their sins seriously (nowadays people assume it has to be one or the other). He doesn’t explore the state of her soul, but the basic facts of her situation. The fact that He knew that and didn’t treat her with contempt was probably a new experience for her. He did not berate her, simply told the truth, and she knew what the score was. Nowadays, it has the extra complication that many people, including many practicing Catholics, believe that many sins are not only not sins, but positive goods, and that calling them sins is actually hateful. Still, we are called to lead with love and respect, to trust the power of the Spirit given to us in baptism, and to point to the truth. Jesus offers a more abundant life (John 10:10) and it is for us to point to that life and show it in our behavior.

I suggest getting more and more deeply engaged in the Gospel of John will help us see how His truth all connects and how to point to it with our words and actions.

Blessings

Fr Jim

Transfiguration: Why We Should Pay Attention

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Dear Folks,

This Sunday we read about the Transfiguration. The Second Sunday of Lent always gives us the Transfiguration, so that leads to the question why is it so important for Lent? In fact, what do we do with the Transfiguration besides “Wow! Isn’t that cool?” Of course, it is really cool, but if we look closer, it gets even more interesting. Matthew, Mark, and Luke all have some differences, but they all have the Transfiguration, and they also have Jesus’ three predictions of the Passion. There is the first prediction that “The Son of Man must suffer greatly and be rejected by the elders, the chief priests, and the scribes, and be killed and on the third day be raised (Luke 9:22).” Then Jesus tells us that to be His disciple, we must be willing to take up our cross and follow Him, and that if we try to save our lives we will lose them, and if we lose our lives for Him we will find them. Then Jesus takes Peter, James, and John up the mountain and they see a glimpse of His glory. When they come down the mountain, Jesus exorcises a boy with a demon, and then there is a second prediction of the passion. The fact that all three Synoptic Gospels follow this pattern gets my attention.

Notice that:

This glimpse of His glory shows them there is more to Him than they realized (What does it take to get people’s attention?). He is not just another prophet.

Only Peter, James, and John were given this gift. God has no problem giving certain gifts to some people and not to others. Even for Peter, James, and John, there was only a glimpse, and then back to work.

Jesus showing a glimpse of His glory is wrapped in discussion of the cross (also, in Luke we see Moses and Elijah discussing the “exodus” that he is to experience in Jerusalem [Luke 9:31], a reference to His crucifixion).

The presence of Moses and Elijah, representing the Law and the Prophets, says that what is going on is the culmination of all the history of Israel, and all they had been taught and all they had hoped for until now.

So, what now? There can be a tendency to treat our practice of the faith as one task among many, and it can feel like it. This reminds us that more is happening than meets the eye. Christianity is either everything to us, or it is nothing.

Some gifts, some consolations, are given to some and not to others. If you haven’t had a mystical experience, it does not mean you are a failure in your spirituality. The call is to be faithful.

A little bit of consolation sometimes has to go a long way. The times when our faith feels dead, but we strive to be faithful anyway, are often the most meritorious and fruitful.

Jesus is the fulfillment of all truly human desires. Those desires that do not point to Jesus (greed, cruelty, lust, sloth, etc.) are distortions of our humanity, and though they promise happiness, will leave us empty.

Whatever cross we are called to carry, it leads to glory. Whatever glory we long for, it is found in the cross.

May remembering God’s glory give us strength as we shoulder whatever crosses we are called to carry.

Blessings,

Fr. Jim

Facing Temptation in the Desert

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Dear Folks,

The journey of Lent has begun. As we look at our Sunday readings (and we shall be using cycle A readings for the 3rd, 4th, and 5th Sundays), I’m suggesting focusing on how they show encounters with Jesus. Everything we do as Church can be summed up into two things: We encounter Jesus and we share Jesus. If we are doing something that does not serve encountering Jesus and sharing Jesus, why should we do them?

This week we see Jesus tempted in the desert. One might first think the encounter was Satan encountering Jesus, but I’m thinking in terms of Jesus encountering Jesus. In His humanity, Jesus faces His strengths and weaknesses, His doubts and fears, His hopes and dreams. He tests Himself. I heard of one Army sergeant who said that they never know how the soldiers with do in battle until they actually get there. Some, including some of the really big, tough guys drop their rifle and run, while sometimes the little mousy guy will step up and do the job. The courage of many Ukrainian people has been amazing and inspiring. Those of us who have never been there cannot say how we would do. When we are tested, we learn that perhaps how we imagined ourselves to be is not quite how we are.

I like to look at how the four Gospels compare, and when they are different, I get curious why. The Gospel of John does not include the temptation in the desert. John emphasizes Jesus’ divinity, and generally shows Jesus in control of the situation. John does not include the agony in the garden, and the only suggestion of Jesus’ struggle is “I am troubled now. Yet what should I say? ‘Father save me from this hour?’ But it was for this purpose that I came to this hour (John 12:27).” Even when He is being arrested, it is clear that Jesus is in charge (see John 18). Mark is she shortest of the Gospels and will often give briefer accounts of events. Matthew has the dialog with Satan as well, but there is a twist. Matthew and Luke both begin with the temptation to command the stones to become bread (of course, Jesus could have commanded them to become prime rib if He wanted to). When we are really hungry, that is generally first and foremost in our minds. They switch the order of the other two temptations, and that makes me ask why? Matthew has the dialog culminate with the offer to worship Satan, while Luke has the last temptation be to fling Himself from the parapet of the temple. I’m thinking the last temptation would have been seen as the greatest and most important. Matthew, the most Jewish of the Gospels, would see the greatest issue as right worship, beginning with worshipping God, and Him alone. If we don’t get our worship in order, the rest of our lives will not be in order. Luke, however, culminates with the temptation to fling Himself from the parapet of the temple and have the angels catch Him. This is a temptation to be protected from the suffering of life, in particular the suffering of the cross. Luke emphasizes that Jesus shares in our condition. He delivers the sermon on the plain at people’s level, not from the mountaintop. Might this be why Luke is the one Gospel that doesn’t mention Jesus walking on water? I don’t know, but I wonder.

Matthew, Mark, and Luke all mention Jesus telling us that we must be willing to pick up our cross and follow Him (Matt 16: 24; Mark 8:34; Luke 9:23) right after the first prediction of the passion. Only Luke mentions that we must do it “daily.”

During Lent, we test ourselves in different ways. Let us consider Jesus walking closely with us in this testing, and sharing our journey. May we encounter Jesus personally in these Lenten exercises.

Blessings,

Fr. Jim

Loving People Hard to Love Part II

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Dear Folks,

We all have a deep need to tell our story, to be heard, to be understood. Much anger, frustration, and resentment come from a feeling of not being heard, not being understood. It is often difficult to make ourselves understood to someone, and what makes the experience much harder is when we get the feeling that the other person isn’t trying. Sometimes the truth is more complex.

Perhaps we underestimate the depth of the chasm between our minds. In Malcolm Gladwell’s book “Talking to Strangers” he mentions that we tend to underestimate how we can use the same words and gestures and mean different things. Both sides might be trying and failing to connect.

Stephen Covey said, “We judge ourselves by our intentions and others by their behavior.” Consider what that means, that what we experience ourselves can be very different from how others experience us.

In “The Screwtape Letters” C.S. Lewis portrays the devil Screwtape teaching his nephew Wormwood how to lead a soul into hell: “Keep his mind on the inner life. He thinks his conversion is something inside him and his attention is therefore chiefly turned at present to the states of his own mind—or rather the expurgated version of them which is all you should allow him to see. Encourage this. Keep his mind off the most elementary duties by directing it to the most advanced and spiritual ones. Aggravate that most useful human characteristic, the horror and neglect of the obvious. You must bring him to a condition in which he can practice self examination for an hour without discovering any of those facts about himself which are

perfectly clear to anyone who has ever lived in the same house with him or worked in the same office (Letter 3).” And “Your patient must demand that all his own utterances are to be taken at their face value and judged simply on the actual words, while at the same time judging all his mother’s utterances with the fullest and most over-sensitive interpretation of the tone and the context and the suspected intention. She must be encouraged to do the same to him (Letter 3).” I believe this sort of thing is not uncommon. How do we watch for such behavior in ourselves? I suspect we tend to be very aware of how the other person tries our patience, but we might have no idea how much we try the others’ patience. How can we watch for that?

There may be times, and certainly there are abusive relationships, in which we are innocent, and the other person is quite guilty. We want to be careful about getting to that conclusion too quickly and too easily. When it is such a situation, we still have the challenge of how we are going to deal with the situation. Waiting for the other person to change is not going to get us anywhere. When we must play a game that is rigged against us, we must play it well. In Matthew 16:10, Jesus says, “Behold, I send you forth as sheep in the midst of wolves, so be as clever as serpents and innocent as doves.” We must be clever as psychological tricks and traps are thrown at us. Though there is a temptation to use the other’s behavior as an excuse to lower the standards of our own behavior, it is essential to strive to be innocent, first because it is right, and second because others might use any lapse on our part as a reason to attack us and make us the villain (never mind they do worse on a regular basis).

This stuff is hard, at least I find it hard. I suggest that if more people took these things into account, we could get along better. Can you think of anything to practice during Lent for more peace in the world?

Blessings,

Fr. Jim