Peacemaking

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Dear folks,

Here are some continuing thoughts about how to make the world a more peaceful place.

Intellectual humility: Don’t be too quick to be too certain that we see the whole picture. What if there is more to the story? I learned this the hard way: experiences of feeling very certain and finding out I was very wrong. Things can seem obvious and still be wrong. This will make me more reluctant to go too far to get my agenda.

Humility of Agency: Not be so certain that we are the solution, such that we decide we can violate boundaries rather than fail. If we try honorably and fail, someone might launch a successful attempt from the ashes our failure. Remember that actions done with good intentions may have bad consequences. Sometimes we even cause the opposite of what we intend. This goes with Moral Humility: Not being so certain that we will always do the right thing, lest we trust ourselves with too much power (Think of why Gandalf refused to take the one ring: “I would intend to

use it for good…”). When boundaries, accountability, checks and balances on us get in the way of what we want to do it is frustrating, but not necessarily bad.

People like Lenin, Stalin, Mao, and Robespierre all apparently thought they were fixing things and would make a paradise on earth, and so they thought they could take some serious moral shortcuts to do so. They made hell on earth and brought

untold suffering. We must fight monsters without becoming monsters. (I found if you search for images of “Peacemaker” you get a comic book villain who seeks to bring peace by using extreme violence.) As Jesus said, we must be “clever as serpents and innocent as doves (Matt 10:16).” We must work toward a better world but always remember that we are not the savior (We have a Savior).

Seeing the big picture. I can be okay with losing today so that I could win tomorrow. If I think in terms of years, decades, or even centuries, I can be content to work bit by bit for a better world, and a temporary loss is not a catastrophe. This would give me less temptation to drastic, violent action.

Support Law enforcement. Of course, hold bad actors accountable, but when one is accused, that officer should get the same due process and presumption of innocence that we would want for ourselves if we were accused of a terrible crime.

Those who do their jobs deserve our support and gratitude for the tremendous sacrifices they make for our sake. Let us send clear, consistent messages that we value and admire obeying the law and respecting law enforcement officers, and believe in holding criminals accountable.

Fill ourselves with stories of people who solved problems and accomplished great things without resorting to violence. Sometimes physical force is necessary, especially in war, law enforcement, or self-defense, but let us emphasize our admiration for those who do great things through other means and let us aspire to imitate them.

Tim Scott just released the book “One Nation Always Under God” and it is full of such stories. If there were more people like those depicted in the book, and if we as a society aspired to be like them, perhaps that would help people focus their energies more peacefully (reading the lives of the saints doesn’t hurt either).

Next, the most important part.

Blessings,

Fr. Jim

Building Peace

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Dear Folks,

I wanted to share some further thoughts on making the world more peaceful.

Anger management: Our anger matters, but it is not the most important thing. (James 1:19-20; Ephesians 4:26-27). Anger does not show the rightness of our position. In fact, it narrows our perception and hampers our judgment. Learning to heal our anger, not letting it lead us can make a difference. I have a punching bag that has suffered terribly for this cause. I recommend “No Future Without Forgiveness” by Desmond Tutu and “The Book of Forgiving” by Desmond and Mpho Tutu. Also helpful is “Remembering God’s Mercy by Dawn Adams. This is a part of the notion that our feelings in general matter and have things to teach us, but they should not be in control, nor be trusted as a moral compass. We recognize that they are easily manipulated and subject to change for all sorts of reasons. We can practice feeling anger and practicing calm. This is connected to:

Reconciling ourselves to the truth that if we want to do good, we are going to have to work harder than we though, for longer than expected, to accomplish less than we hoped. The world is a horrible mess. We can believe we can make some difference without having to believe that we can fix it in our lifetimes. When we are done, it will still be a horrible mess, but better than it would have been without our efforts. I know that feeling of urgency that I have to fix this huge problem now, and the harm I did because I got too aggressive. Recognizing that the evil does much deeper and we can be more effective by being patient and persevering than by panicking. This has not only saved me a lot of stomach acid, but I believe it has made me more effective.

Training in peaceful and constructive dialog: I recommend Ann Garrido’s book “Redeeming Conflict” to begin, then Monica Guzman’s “I Never Thought of it That Way.” There are some people with whom we cannot make peace, but the more people get better at peacemaking, the fewer such people there will be. I’ve seen so many conversations that take the form of: Person A: “People shouldn’t be starving. We need the government to take all the food and give it out to everyone so no one will starve.” Person B: “I don’t think that will work and will cause more harm than good.” Person A: “You are a wicked, wicked person who doesn’t care about starving people.” This form of dialog takes place with many issues and many proposed solutions. We need to make conversation more productive. This is connected to:

Problem solving and conflict resolution skills. This will give us a channel to direct our energy and concern. If we spend less time attacking our opponents (which is so much easier) and more time building a case for our solution (which is more work and makes us vulnerable to being attacked ourselves) we need not be trapped in the helpless rage that is a temptation to violence. This is connected to:

Leadership skills: Able to exercise constructive leadership in society. One does not always need an official position to be a leader. Sometimes, asking a good question, telling a good story, setting a good example can be acts of leadership. This is an art that need cultivating. I recommend “The Practice of Adaptive Leadership: Tools and Tactics for Changing Your Organization and the World” by Ron Heifetz. I can make my mark on the world without resorting to violence, even in this big, frustrating world.

More later.

Blessings,

Fr. Jim

Toward a More Peaceful World

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I do not think we can get there by passing laws or instituting government programs. I think there is better hope through building virtue and changing culture. Culture makes a big difference in how people behave, and we naturally pick up behaviors and attitudes from the people around us. Some cultures emphasize cleanliness, and others throw garbage in the streets. Some cultures embody great emotional expressiveness, while others are very reserved (when those people come together it can get awkward). I think the growth in violence in our society is not because guns have been suddenly introduced, but because the culture has shifted, and encourages attitudes and behaviors that feed a violent society.

I think a great deal of the problem is our culture does not do a good enough job nurturing peaceful people. If we build certain kinds of habits, and encourage each other in these habits, I think that can make a more profound difference, and there are things we can all do to help shift things. We can strive to grow in these virtues ourselves and encourage and support others in doing so as well. We can elevate celebrities that embody theses virtues and chose to give no attention to those who undermine them.

So what are these virtues? I think there needs to be a lot of conversations about that, but I have some initial offerings.

Boundaries, principles, and virtues: There is right and there is wrong, and it is bigger than we are. The goodness of our cause does not eliminate but increases our responsibility for staying in bounds. We need an objective sense of right and wrong and need the same standards to hold for ourselves and our opponents. We need to send clear, con- sistent messages that we value and admire growing in virtue more than following desire.

It is essential and more effective that we put more effort in holding ourselves accountable and calling out our allies more than calling out our opponents. I recommend C.S. Lewis’ “The Abolition of Man.” Eighty years ago he warned about a society in which “we laugh at honor and are shocked to find traitors in our midst. William Kilpatrick’s “Why Johnny Can’t Tell Right from Wrong” talks about the importance of teaching clear right and wrong to children and explains the power of stories to shape our moral imaginations.

Connections: Family, friends, Church or civic organizations that encourage personal virtue and diversity of thought. How can we strengthen these precious institutions? I rec-

ommend David Brooks’ “How to Know a Person.” The more we see each other as con-

nected to us, the harder to decide to commit violence against them. This is connected to: Growing in empathy: Not allow our anger or disagreement to make us objectify others.

Working hard to see things from others’ point of view. The tendency of sinful humans is to see others as objects, focusing only on how they affect us. Pornography is intense training in objectifying other people. See Fightthenewdrug.org. It would help to keep smart phones out of children’s hands until they reach a certain age. I recommend Jona- than Haight’s book “The Anxious Generation.”

Support the vocation of family, the foundation of civilizing influences. Many have made a case that a case that the union of one man and one woman, joined for life, ordered toward generating and nurturing children is most effective, and a society that privileges and encourages such unions does better. Prioritize what makes the best environment for the children over what these two people want. I recommend “Getting the Marriage Conversation Right” by William B. May, “Defending Marriage” by Anthony Esolen, and “What is Marriage?” by Sherif Girgis et al. to reflect on what marriage is (a society that is not clear on what marriage is will be on shaky ground indeed). John G. Gottman’s “Making Marriage Work” brings scientific data around practices that help couples to succeed.

More on this later.

Blessings,

Fr. Jim

HEY!!! “CAR

Immigration Conversation

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Dear Folks,
There has been a lot of conversation about immigration and how to deal with immigrants. There has been a lot of criticism, but I’m not seeing things move toward a solution. It’s very easy to attack what others are doing and easy to repeat general principles, but harder to come up with practical solutions that others can criticize. I think if we really want to make the situation better, we would focus on some basic questions:
1. How many people should we let move into the country? (and if the answer is, “as many as want to, even if it’s a billion,” then it is only fair to say that out loud, and then deal with how do we plan to absorb so many people). People dedicated to helping others generally learn to be able to help long term, there must be some boundaries, trying to be generous but recognizing our limitations.
2. If we believe in any limits, how do we prioritize who gets in and how doesn’t?
3. How do we vet them/screen them (especially to screen out terrorists, drug dealers, violent criminals, human traffickers and the like)?
4. How do we care for them while they are going through the process?
5. How do we encourage people to come in according to our laws and discourage people from breaking our immigration laws?
6. How do we deal with those who have violated these laws (wanting to be humane but wanting to disincentivize law breaking).
I think if we start with these questions, we can move the conversation in a more productive direction. I think we should avoid accusing others, but serious ask ourselves, “Am I really interested in improving the situation, or do I just want to attack people I don’t like?” Working together, I think we can accomplish a lot.
Blessings,
Fr. Jim 

What Do People See?

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Dear Folks,

As we continue to celebrate the Easter season, we read a good deal from Acts of the Apostles, Revelation, and the Gospel resurrection accounts. In this week’s reading from John, there are two key concepts: the forgiveness of sins and believing without seeing.

The reading from Acts shows people not seeing the risen Jesus but seeing the Church.

When we look at people, we don’t see their personhood, their personalities, their character, their souls. We see the surfaces of their bodies and their clothes, and our brains put together a sense of who they are. We are the Body of Christ, and many people will encounter Christ in us.

Acts describes a healing Church. There were lots of miraculous healings, and that was good for making an opening to evangelize. I thought that it was unfair that we didn’t have them as often, so we were working at a disadvantage. I realized that we can be a healing

Church in a different way. The world is torn by hatred and division. If we could work on healing the divides, reconciling opponents, and building forgiveness we can be a mighty force for healing.

I won’t suggest that I’m an expert on this, but I will tell you I have grown enormously from where I used to be. If enough people do that, it could make the world a significantly better place. If enough people in the Church do it, it can help people see Jesus in us and

come to faith.

My journey started with “How to Win Friends and Influence People” by Dale Carnegie. It was eye opening. It taught me to focus on what was important to other people, a concept new to me. Now there are many good resources. I would suggest; “No Future Without Forgiveness” by Desmond Tutu, “The Book of Forgiving” by Desmond and Mpho Tutu, “Don’t Forgive Too Soon” by Dennis Linn, Sheila Fabricant Linn and Matthew Linn, “God Help Me! These People are Driving me Nuts! By Gregory Popcak, and “I Never

Thought of it That Way” by Monica Guzman (specifically about bridging the political divide in our country). If you read only one, I recommend it be “Redeeming Conflict” by Ann Garrido. It has twelve habits for transforming conflict into a spiritual journey. If

enough people read and understand it, we can have a common set of principles and a common vocabulary for working together.

“Remembering God’s Mercy” by Dawn Eden is about healing wounds in our own hearts. John Gottman’s “Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work” talks about building relationships that can endure conflict, and it occurred to me that many of these ideas could apply to any human relationship, not just marriages. “How to Know a Person” talks about some general ideas for building better relationships, something not well taught in our society. “The Anxious Generation” by Jonathan Haidt is about how phone based childhoods are seriously hampering (if not destroying) the next generation’s ability to connect in a human way.

Much work to do. I challenge everyone: what are we willing to do it make the Church more effective in witnessing to Jesus, sharing this most wonderful gift of the Gospel?

Might this help? I would ask everyone to pray on this.

Blessings,

Fr. Jim

Easter Changes Everything

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Dear Folks,
Happy Easter! Easter changes everything.
Without Easter, Jesus was a total failure. As Bishop Barron said, there was not more certain proof that someone was not the Messiah than getting crucified by his enemies. Without Easter, the apostles were the most lost people ever. Following Jesus was clearly the worst decision they had ever made. Now there would be nothing left to do but try to put together some semblance of a life and put this humiliating business behind them.
But that’s not what happened, is it?
They encountered Jesus, and His body had been glorified. We are only given hints of what His glorified body was like, and it is not surprising it would be beyond description, but encountering him completely changed their lives. Instead of slinking off into obscurity, they moved forward together with incredible boldness. The world was baffled, because their behavior made no sense to them. Indeed, their behavior made no sense at all – unless they had encountered the risen Jesus.
Are we an Easter people? Are we living for eternity? We may not have seen the risen Jesus like the apostles did, but we can still follow their lead. (“Blessed are those who have not seen but believe [John 20:29]).” The more we believe in the Resurrection, the more we see our life on earth is just the beginning and death is a transition; we are looking forward to something greater. The things of the earth are useful for a time, but we will lose them all sooner or later. That which is love lasts forever. Growing in love for God and for one another is building an eternal treasure.
Toddlers want everything immediately and have a very hard time coping with disappointment. I think that is partly because they see the present moment being huge, and don’t see the bigger picture. As we mature, we can cope with failures, setbacks, and disappointments better because we are more aware that this is a small part of a large story, and that perspective helps us take it in stride. The deeper our sense that the big picture is eternity, the more we can deal with temporary setbacks for the sake of permanent treasure. As St. Paul told the Corinthians: “Therefore, we are not discouraged, although our outer self is wasting away, our inner self is being renewed day by day. For this momentary light affliction is producing for us an eternal weight of glory, beyond all comparison, as we look not to what is seen but what is unseen; for what is seen is transitory, but what is unseen is eternal (2 Corinthian 4:16-18).”
If you read the Acts of the Apostles (which I highly recommend) you know that St. Paul did not have an easy journey. The fact that he can call it a light affliction tells us about the depth of his faith. He meant what he said.
We celebrate the Easter season through the feast of Pentecost, which this year is June 8. During this season it is appropriate to have extra festiveness as we look forward to the ultimate celebration that lasts forever.
Alleluia!
Blessings,
Fr. Jim

Holy Week and the Gift of Self

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Dear Folks,
Now, we begin Holy Week.
The essence of the Gospel is the gift of self. During Holy Week we recall two events of infinite power: the Last Supper and the Cross.
In the Last Supper Jesus gives Himself sacramentally, and on the Cross Jesus gives Himself in practice.
Consider a couple getting married. In the wedding celebration, they give themselves to each other sacramentally, and in their living out married life, they give themselves to each other in practice. In the sacramental celebration, the couple consecrates their future together, infusing it with God’s grace so that it will have sacred meaning. Without the sacrament, there is just a couple of people living together. Without the intention of living out their marriage in practice, the wedding is just a party.
When the bread and wine are presented, the priest places them on the altar saying, “Blessed are you, Lord God of all creation, for through your goodness we have received the bread we offer you, fruit of the earth and work of human hands. It will become for us the bread of life.” And “Blessed are you, Lord God of all creation, for through your goodness we have received the wine we offer you, fruit of the vine and work of human hands. It will become our spiritual drink.” This is a symbol of what we have done with what God has given us. When the basket is brought forward, it is a symbol of all that we give to God from what he has given to us, and includes the donations online, donations of time and talent, and anything else we give. (Diocesan best practices call for bringing forward an empty basket because occasionally people have gotten sticky fingers. It does not destroy the symbolic value). In doing this, we place ourselves on the altar to be consecrated along with the bread and wine. We become ever more the Body of Christ, a body offered forever to the Father, incorporated into the one sacrifice offered once for all but eternally effective.
On Palm Sunday, we read the passion from the Gospel of the year, this year being Luke. He emphasizes the mercy Jesus shows even in His agony. Holy Thursday we read the washing of the feet at the Last Supper. This emphasizes that Eucharist is bound to service. The authenticity of our praying the Mass is inextricable from our dedication to giving ourselves in service to others. On Good Friday, we read the passion from the Gospel of John. This Gospel emphasizes that Jesus gave Himself freely, every step of the way. He is in charge from beginning to end. When we hear how completely, lovingly, compassionately, and freely Jesus gave Himself, let us consider how He calls us to give ourselves as gift. That sets our course for the rest of the year.
Blessings,
Fr. Jim

Life Where There Was Only Death

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Dear Folks,
Today, the fifth Sunday of Lent, where there was once only death, there is now life.
Those reading the cycle C readings will hear the story of the woman caught in adultery (John 

😎

, and those reading the cycle A readings will hear the raising of Lazarus (John 11). Both are about bringing life where there is only death. Sin brings death, and Jesus brings eternal life. The woman caught in adultery was facing certain death as a result of her own sin. Jesus saves her and challenges her to “go and sin no more.” Jesus tells Martha He is the resurrection, and it is not just in the future.
We see in Romans 6:23: “For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life in Jesus Christ our Lord.” And in John 17:3 “Now this is eternal life, that they should know you, the only true God, and the one whom you sent, Jesus Christ.”
When we talk about knowing Jesus, we remember that in the Bible knowing is a more powerful thing than having a tidbit of knowledge. It is a matter of having a lifegiving relationship. Consider these texts:
Genesis 4:1 “Adam knew his wife Eve and she conceived and bore a son Cain…”
Psalm 1:6 “For the Lord knows the way of the righteous, but the way of the wicked will perish.” Psalm 95:10 “For forty years I abhorred that generation, and I said, ‘Their heart goes astray; this people does not know my ways.’” Matthew 25:12 “But the master will say, ‘Amen, I say to you, I do not know you.’”
To understand “know” as “have a life-giving relationship with” these texts make sense.
To have a life-giving relationship with Jesus is to give ourselves in love as He gave Himself in love. John 15:13 “No one has greater love than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends.”
To love is to live for someone beyond ourselves, that puts the focus outside of ourselves. The word “ecstasy” literally means “to stand outside.” The more focused we are on good beyond ourselves, the more we are living the love of God. Our lives are no longer about
us, but about Him. Whatever else happens, that is abundant life (John 10:10).
To live for our own desires is to close in on ourselves, to be dying. Our desires will not satisfy us permanently, and the fight against mortality is always lost if we live according to the wisdom of the world.
When we have a life-giving relationship with God and are living for eternity, we are already living eternal life. The joy that comes with our relationship with Jesus and being about something greater than the world is just the tiniest taste of the reality of heaven.
Blessings,
Fr. Jim

Weaving Together Our Picture of Reality

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Dear Folks,

We all take in bits of information and weave them into a story that makes sense to us. Sometimes we can take the same set of information and come up with different narratives, and that

can make all the difference. I notice Democrats and Republicans can look at the same event and come up with wildly different narratives about what happened. It would be funny if it weren’t so serious.

At some of the Masses this Sunday, we are doing the cycle C readings, including the story of the prodigal son (Luke 15). Where we are doing scrutinies, we are using the cycle A readings with

the story of the man born blind (John 9). I suggest it would be a good exercise to look at those stories and ask, at each point what narrative is each character believing about what is happening?

Stepping back, there are different narratives about fundamental reality.

One is the atheist materialist view. The universe is self-existing, though it seems to be made entirely of contingent beings. The ultimate reality is impersonal, and personhood and consciousness are blips in the interplay of matter and energy. Love, in this view, is just a byproduct of the drive for chromosomes to replicate themselves. Moral right and wrong do not exist, and the only value is making me feel good. When I die, I will cease to exist, and it will not matter what I believed or what I did.

The Christian view is that the ultimate reality is love in the deepest sense. The Father is eternally giving Himself in love to the Son, who is eternally receiving and returning that love to the Father, and the Holy Spirit is the love that passes between them. God is not one contingent being among many, but Being Himself, the source of all being. Love is by nature fruitful, and so God, though not needing anyone or anything, created the universe out of pure love. We were made to receive and give ourselves in love, and hence are made in the image and likeness of God. There is goodness, which is what serves giving ourselves in love, and there is evil, which is counterfeiting giving ourselves in love or refusing the invite all together. The things of the world pass away, but that which is love lasts forever.

One might object that that many atheists do much good and many Christians are less than moral. This, I suggest, is because we do not always act consistently with our professed beliefs.

There is one more narrative that I find interesting, and that is the Boltzmann brain theory. Ludwig Boltzmann was a physicist, who proposed that if a universe produced a self-aware brain, it

was more likely to produce one brain that hallucinated experiences than produce many brains that have real experiences. That means I am the only one who really exists, and you are all a figment of my imagination. There was once a Dilbert comic strip about this. I reject this theory, fun though it is, because it makes life trivial, and goes against my deep sense that life, the universe and everything have deep meaning. I reject the atheist, materialist view for similar reasons. We have a deep sense that personhood, consciousness, and love mean more than blips in the motion of matter and energy as the mindless universe unfolds. That’s my story and I’m

sticking to it.

Blessings,

Fr. Jim

To Comfort and Afflict

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Dear Folks,

For the next three weeks we have a particular challenge: One Mass with scrutinies will have the cycle A readings (which this week includes the story of the woman at the well in John 4), and the other Masses will have the cycle C readings (which this week includes Luke 13:1-9). It is worth comparing the two. The woman at the well was a Samaritan, and Jesus broke barriers just talking to her. He does not shy away from how her life is a mess, but He doesn’t berate her for it. He gives her respect and concern that she wasn’t used to getting, and that gave her space to change, and she would reconnect with the community that had previously shunned her. By contrast, the text in Luke shows Jesus warning some

fellow Israelites that if they don’t repent, they face destruction.

It has been said that a prophet has two tasks: to comfort the afflicted and afflict the comfortable. This is summed up in Luke with the parable of the Pharisee and the Tax Collector (Luke 18:9-14). The two men were a study in contrast. The Pharisee was presented as having objectively better behavior, but he was convinced he was good enough. Other people needed to improve, but he was convinced he didn’t. The tax collector, by contrast, was not

so virtuous, but knew he needed work. That made all the difference. Until we see pearly gate posts passing our shoulders, we are a work in progress.

It’s okay to be where we are at; it’s not okay to stay where we are at.

During this Lent, what if we asked:

What does God want me to learn?

If God could get every response He wants from me, what would that look like?

What if being a member of the Church means more than I thought?

What if praying the Mass means more than I thought?

When someone talks about a crisis in the Church, how quick am I to say what someone else should be doing differently and how quick am I to ask what I should be doing differently?

If Lent is not working out the way I planned, might God have some different plans?

What might they be?

If God is calling me to change my life in some way, small or large, how ready am I to say “yes” to Him?

Can I accept that how I and people like me respond during Lent can make a difference in the kind of future that our Church will have?

For what it’s worth, I recently came to understand something that had been obvious, but I didn’t see it. Now I see things differently (don’t bother to ask; I won’t tell). I suggest that God is always working on teaching us something and leading us somewhere.

Blessed Lent,

Fr. Jim